Ebb and Flow

What is ebbing in your life? What is flowing?

Living by the beach I have many opportuitues to witness ebb and flow. Recently I hade the chance to experience a powerful evening storm. It came quick and I found myself stranded on a covered pavillion on the ocean. It was such a gift. I witnessed the sky, the water, the air, the rain, the sand, shift and move in unison with each other. It was hard to comprehend what was the driving force, as each was affected and shifted in a different and beautiful way.

The darkness came. I stood and watched, wrapped in my towel as the wind blew and the rain fell. The ocean moved with the wind and the rain. It responded with pounding waves and shimmering foam. The color shifted from blue to green to grey, as the sky became filled with with black and grey and powerful bolts of lightning. The storm shrouded the horizon in a haze that hid several shrimp boats that had been there for hours.

As quickly as the storm came up it, it passed. Sunlight filled the sky as the clouds moved out to sea. Small patches of rain continued for a while, as the air became still and clear. The boats suddenly appeared as if a fogged window had been wiped. The light became bright and the air cool. The storm had taken its course.

The power of this experience has been with me for days. I am so struck by the deep meaning it holds for me, for us. Storms come and go. Things are moved, shifted, damaged. Things are different, most times in ways we could not predict.

Ebbs and flows happen. Storms Come. Sunny days appear. These are a few things we can count on. When and if they come and go, that we have no control over. All I know is that if I am able to respond to the storm with a clear head, I will be fine.

For me keeping a clear head is about awareness of what is happenign around me. It is getting out of my own head and being observant and responsive to my surroundngs. It is about living in the moment and experienceing the ebbs and flows for all thier gifts...

Where is your mind wandering?

Allow your mind to wander.


Where does it go? Does it go to the beach, to a piece of art, a book you have been reading? It can go a million places...Does it give you pleasure? Guilt?

I've been using my wandering to fuel me. Just this morning, I had paused to take a break from task i was doing and let my my mind wander. It brought me to a person I needed to call. Instead of just letting the thought flash through my head, I took action. Made the call, spoke for a few minutes, set and appointment and moved on. I knew that i did not have alot of time to chat, so I stated I had a few minutes and wanted to set some to time to spend together. Done, Three minutes later, I was back t the task at hand. No longer did this needed call bug me. I was able to take care of a call I had been wanted to make for days.

How much energy do we waste on not listening to the wanderings. I thnk that when we initially have the thought about the person and want to call them it is pleasure. it is the idea that it would be fun to do. When we do not listen to the thought, after a few times it turns to guilt. We start feeling bad because we did not make it happen. Who needs that. So the next time you have a thought to do something. Just Do It, to borrow a phrase. Start turning your ideas into joys, and stop allowing inaction to turn them into guilt!!

Vacation Musings

What is vacation to you? What does it give you?

Having just returned from a fun, restful, inspiring vacation, I am working to allow the affects to flow into my life today.

I have been using the experience of getting away and relaxing to fuel me this week, as I get back up to speed. I have become very reflective and in the place of getting clear where my focus needs to be for the greatest return.

So interesting that any effort that is not about relaxing now has more meaning. Sort of cool. It feels like each of my actions are more valuable and that I should consider the effort and not waste any energy that is not producing the precise results I am looking to achieve.

Distance such an amazing thing. I am working to allow it to give me perspective and clarity. Things that often get so muddled in the everyday grind.

Distance from the everyday has given me such a new view on my routines. I have the usual tactical things to deal with and find myself moving through those with such peace. Clearing the suitcase and laundry is usually such a chore. Today I gave myself the gift of taking my time to unpack and enjoy the goodies I found in the suitcase.

The bag of stones I had gathered from the tiny stream, talk to me of the time spent around the campfire, watching the stream trickle and meander through the campsite. The calmness and the peacefulness that time brought to was a gift. I had a chance to reflect on what great friends and family I am blessed with. I am reminded of the tears shed while singing a song that reminded me of a spent relationship. I am blessed with friends who were able to hold a safe space, so I could cry with healing thoughts.

Ooo look, a make it yourself mobile from the Museum of Modern Art. It is so full of possibilities. As I clip on a postcard of the Bruce Neuman neon sculpture, Human/Need/Desire, my mind wanders to the wonderful afternoon with my sisters and nieces at the museum. We were moved that afternoon to discuss the presence of good and evil in art. We spoke of how the power of art reveals truths within society and ourselves. Such richness of conversation and thought, such a blessing.

An envelope of hand drawn stamps, made with a friend's 4 year old daughter, by the pool in East Hampton, brings back memories of laughter and play. Such wonderful images rainbows, hydrangeas, shells, and doggies. I get to read, I like Florence, written from the loving hand of a child. The colors, shapes, and images are pure. They were created with out any fear of judgment, just honest expression. I so wish each of my creative adventures was full of such freedom.

A bag of white ash tree bark, brings me to the love of my family. A reunion in the welcoming home of my sister in New Hope, Pennsylvania, brings all kinds of pleasures. Great food, love, gratitude, laughter, tenderness, and of course competition can all be counted on. We are a family of game players. We bring the notion of winning to all we do. It is fun, it is exciting, it is maddening!! We push each other and bring each other to hysterical laughter and frustration. I live for this energy, this pushing, this confidence, this acceptance. Enjoying my mother soaking up all the love she helped to create from often tumultuous times brings a gratitude beyond words.

A menu from the Lobster Roll in Riverhead, New York brings back the joy of sharing high school memories with girlfriends. We gathered to share our memories, our lives and our dreams. We spoke of the crazy antics of high school girls and wondered how we are still alive with the risks that youth allowed us to take. We witnessed girls who had become strong, wise woman. We rejoiced in overcoming trials and laughed at the boys we had chased. It was an evening of looking at where we came from and knowing that where we are going is full of hope and surprise.

Each adventure of this vacation often brought gifts beyond expression. As I sit here completing this passage, I have many lessons to bring to the next few weeks and even my life. I know that as my life transitions from marriage to single living, from working in a corporation to starting a business, from being obese to being healthy, I am forced to look within and around for as much support, gratitude and wisdom as I can. I know that my journey has been made richer by sharing the path with others, my friends, family, you. Thank you!